Articles

It often appears that we are waiting for good things to happen to us, that we feel we have been dealt a bad hand in certain aspects of our life. In fact, we often wait for something or someone to come and rescue us, or to be given permission to have what it is we desperately seek. The truth is we are afraid of claiming what we want and need, because then we are required to make a choice and take action, to take responsibility for our lives, and surrender to the notion that we are not going to be rescued. It all feels like hard work! It feels easier to stay in our comfort zones.

In Joseph Campbell’s book, “The hero with a thousand faces”, he talks about the dark nights of the soul. This refers to critical points in our lives when we are faced with what appears to be insurmountable challenges. We are tested to our limit. Our faith, and deep seeded beliefs may be questioned to such a degree that it may seem that a part of us dies. These “little deaths” we grieve, because in a sense we lose a part of ourselves, we redefine who we are. We are faced with a choice to either give up hope, to be defeated, to become a victim to all the things we consider to be at fault… or … we can stop blaming, take responsibility for our part in creating the path we have chosen and claim the right to be who we want to be – to be our own master.

This choice makes us question the competing parts of ourselves, which often leaves us feeling uncertain about making such decisions. Instead we hide beneath a mask of how we want to be perceived by others, or perhaps eluding even ourselves. Once we begin to risk unveiling our masks, we then are able to connect with our authentic self, to begin integrating some of these competing parts into a more fulfilled person.

Exercise

I’d like to encourage you to take some time out for yourself, reflect and ask yourself – Is there a mask that I wear that needs to be unveiled?

Author: David Kalmar

Psychologist